Sentence combining will keep your writing sharp!!

SENTENCE ENRICHMENT TEST
MR. GOLDSMITH

PART I 

Obviously, I am not "grading" this, so please ignore the rubric. As we do assignments like this, we will toggle between posting a comment or discussion point or example as a COMMENT on the blog.....(remember, the blog comments EVERYONE can see :) )and sometimes I will ask you to please email me your work on GoogleDocs. For example, if you tried to re-write this in fewer than 7 sentences, do it GoogleDocs and SHARE it with me

THIS WHOLE WORLD IS NEW FOR ME, AND IT IS NOT IDEAL....BUT WE ARE MAKING DO!!!

Aluminum is a metal. It is abundant. It has many uses. It comes from bauxite. Bauxite is an ore. Bauxite looks like clay. Bauxite contains aluminum. It contains several other substances. Workmen extract these other substances from the bauxite. They grind the bauxite. They put it in tanks. Pressure is in the tanks. The other substances form a mass. They remove the mass. They use it in filters. A liquid remains. They put in through several other processes. It finally yields a chemical. The chemical is powdery. They chemical is white. They chemical is alumina. It is a mixture. It contains aluminum. IT contains oxygen. They finally produce a metal. The metal is light. It has a luster. The luster is bright. They luster is silvery. This metal comes in many forms. This metal is aluminum. 

Paragraph is rewritten in 8 sentences or less🡪 10 points

The paragraph is free of run on or ultra-simple sentences🡪 10 points

The paragraph with richness and clarity🡪 10 points

PART II

They ate rolls. They drank coffee. Ann was suddenly hungry. The rolls were warm. The rolls were sweet. She ate three of them. Her eating pleased the baker. He began to talk then. They listened carefully. They were tired. They were in anguish. They started listening.  

(Rewrite this paragraph so that it is only three sentences long. Then, add four more imaginative complex sentences to finish out the paragraph. Enclosed in each sentence should be a semicolon—do not write a sentence without one)

Original paragraph is only three sentences long🡪 10 points

Four quality, imaginative, complex sentences🡪 10 points